Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
