why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
