Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
