how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
