Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
