Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm really into asian looking animals
Barsexuality is the new black.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
