i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
