These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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