Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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