so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
smell my finger.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
