do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
