as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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