Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
