yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
