I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
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