Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
