You just made me feel so damn special
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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