How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
