Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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