last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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