escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
