Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
