I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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