Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
