Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize