You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
