He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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