On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
