it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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