Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
