fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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