He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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