I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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