so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
