me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
