If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
worst night to have a conscience
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
