The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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