Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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