): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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