Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
