5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize