"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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