Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
