he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
