is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
