weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
