I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
