Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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