So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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