Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
