I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
