she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
