I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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