Duck Duck Cougar?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
