You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
