I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
