why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
