we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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