OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
