ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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