I must be too annoying 4 u.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize