normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
