dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
