If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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