Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
